After getting over the fact that letting her go into the care of someone I didn't know (even though she happens to be one of the most amazing teachers I've ever met), there were a myriad of problems that started to arise. Firstly, her personality started to change for the worse. She stopped enjoying to help around the house, she stopped enjoying learning to do new tasks at home, she started to break household rules that we've always had, she started to do a lot herself that was far too beyond what I feel is safe for her age (like trying to cut food on a cutting board), she snuck a pair of scissors and cut up a bunch of my bills, she started to talk about kids that were bullying her on the playground, she started pushing around her little brother and sister more than I've ever seen, and her focus along with ability to process my direction as a parent decreased drastically. That on top of my little boy throwing tantrums every time we picked her up or dropped her off because of the school yard made life feel, in essence, like a total nightmare.
I pulled her out of the local public school, feeling bad because Mrs. Hurzeler was so good with her and was doing tons of extra stuff. She was even in a center that was close to first grade level reading in the sense that they were ready to start spelling tests this early in the year and before 1st grade. She also had a few friends that I just adore. Summer is the sweetest cutest little girl and they play princess together, which touches my heart. I would love for them to stay friends. She thrives in social situations and I felt guilty taking her away from something social and advanced.
I put her into K12 which is an online public school. The kids have a teacher online and the parents are the learning coach. In the younger grades the parents do most of the work with the kids and then the kids can start doing most of it on the computers themselves as they get older. This was a problem quick because she gets addicted to screen time fast and too much computer caused some different behavior problems. I loved the curriculum that they sent, however much of it she was too advanced for (she would need to start at least half way through or she'd just be bored). I asked what to do because of that and they told me that I'd have to pay $100 to get the curriculum she needed and move up when she was ready. I thought she would be able to move at the super fast pace that she loves without finances being an issue! This made me upset and so my decision became that I either needed to do her part time with the elementary again or do my own curriculum that I created or found that fit her needs better.
Guilt for that social and for knowing how cool Mrs. Hurzeler was made me lean toward dual enrollment (hoping she wouldn't revert back to the negative behavior again). I felt good about it, but didn't know if it was right or not. I took a week and did straight homeschool. My own curriculum that I used all through preschool, but the portion that was still challenging her. Her behavior finally normalized! I could see my sweet girl coming out again. The little girl that loves to help and play and serve.
My hubby came home one day and asked Eeva about the different school scenarios. We wanted to get her take because its her life. She likes any and every type of school so most of her answers were geared to what she thought we wanted to hear until now. In their conversation she had an epiphany out loud "if I don't do Mrs. Hurzeler's class than I have to break up with those friends" and she started crying. It was at that moment that in a rush we booked it over to the elementary, met with the principle and teacher, and arranged dual enrollment.
------Since dual enrollment started.... I want to say that in the last couple weeks that everything has stabilized and normal. It's not. She is better now than when she was full time at school behaviorally, however she did revert back a little. She has much more "I know better and can do my own thing" attitude on the days she comes home from school and my 3 year old still throws tantrums most days we go. The days we have homeschool is now my curriculum and it flows beautifully. Though there are sometimes just hard days as a mom, as far as schooling goes, my homeschool days are far less taxing and some of the most peaceful and fun days for my family. I am so grateful for those days of teaching her myself. I promised to give dual enrollment 2 months to let things stabilize before getting frustrated and changing it. I don't want too many changes to mess with Eeva's emotional stability. So we are in it until the end of the semester at least. I hope that things do stabilize well for her sake.
Some of the good things about school is that she and I have made some friends with kids and parents that we go to the park with occasionally. I also love her teacher, the learning centers, and the Raz Kids online program she is offering the kids for a reading homework game.
Some good things about home school. I love that the day starts of peaceful and continues that way really easily in contrast to a school day. I also love that I get to be involved in helping her learn and grow. Seeing those moments when something just clicks for the first time is such a treasure that we give away when someone else educates our kids. I love that I just found some amazing friends for her who are also home schooled (This has been a somewhat hard task for my area, I had to create my own facebook group and events, because all the groups I found, most events were a bit far and I couldn't find those involved unless it was at someone's house - that doesn't feel like a field trip to me, sorry).
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