I look up to women with husbands and kids and don't feel sorry

Recently, actually at church, I was informed of a blog post that seemed completely rediculous to me called "I look down on women with husbands and kids and don't feel sorry".  I had one child, then two, now three, and I know there will be more.  They are each two years apart, leaving me with a 5 year old, a 3 year old, and a one year old.  I love my kids, but I have to say that I had no idea how much harder 3 would be than 2.  Two was easy comparatively.  Yes I still had to work very hard to keep up with the daily tasks and challenges before, but now I have a tornado of destruction following me as I clean up.  Women who are mothers and striving to be the best at what they do with multiple young kids  understand this well no matter how many kids, I believe.

I live next to many 90 year old women.  I am in their book group.  They are so very accomplished in so many ways.  Most of them have raised on average 7 kids.  Some speak of remembering great events from our history books that I can't even imagine living through.  These women have many great things they will be remembered for when they pass away, but I don't think their jobs and corporate successes are what will inspire and be remembered most.  I think the way they lovingly endured through children throwing food on the walls and all kinds of other drama while teaching their kids how much they are loved by a father in heaven is most memorable.  When there is love as a basis for everything things flow so much more smoothly.  Love pushes us to show great moral character as well as to serve those around us.  No amount of titles and clout can top these mothers service to their community and family.

Our families are all different, and what works one place may need to be different for another family.  When taking on the role of a stay at home mom I don't feel like I gave up anything, in fact I had to learn to become even more accomplished than I was before.  I took much of what I learned as my myriad of "supervisor" and "assistant manager positions" and have to use proper management skills on a day to day basis, among an onslot of other skills and positions I have never held.  

Over the years I've had to learn to take on the skills of a doctor - to take proper care of my kids whooping cough, injuries, measles, and every other thing that has come up.  If I didn't study for that role than my kids would probrably be at the hospital a lot because I couldn't do the preventative or immediate care needed without the right skills.  

A Judge - Kids fight and get in trouble all the time, you can't pretend that training, defending, disciplining, and monitoring kids is a piece of cake.  No, I don't have the same credentials or go to a physical court, but there is a lot that goes into the monitoring and forming of behavior, as well as deciding how you will enact this part of the family.  It takes a lot of self control and patience.  An amount of patience that most of us are not born with (even as women), but that we have to learn.

An interior designer, a cook (creating non-processed food recipes that taste good), a maid.  To be honest the job of maid is hardest for me with 3 little kids who essentially undo all the cleaning right behind me.  I feel like I have to apologize for mess all the time, but people don't realize that each area I clean has a very short life span of staying that way.  Its rediculous to judge a mother by her ability to keep up with the disasters her kids lay before her.  Sometimes kids are angels and helpful and when they are shown that they are loved and that there is security for them in their parents hearts, they learn to be more and more helpful as they get older.  When they are so young it is more important to lay that foundation for them emotionally, and very challenging to prevent the animalistic dirtying of the home.  

I personally feel like a better mom when I pay attention to what ingredients come into my home through both food and other products.  I like the simplicity of buying pre-made "green" products, but prefer to just make my own simple, cheep and effective formulas.  I want to be and teach my kids to be self sufficient in as many skills and from scratch products as possible.  I like going back to basics and find a lot of joy in it.  This includes more skills needed than I care to write right now.

I also ended up feeling that I needed to do more than just raising my kids, but didn't feel like it was right to do day care in my family situation.  This led to my hubby and I becoming entrepreneurs.  When the kids are asleep I write books or work on one of our family home businesses.  I help people learn about natural solutions for healthcare as a wellness coach and also run a photo & video studio with my husband.  The rare babysitting for a job gives me time to recoup my perspective of my kids importance to me as a mother.

The point of all this, no matter how people choose to parent or what the skills needed specifically in their family.  We are all accomplished.  When I've hit those hard days and wondered why I became a mom I always hit a point of knowing... I wouldn't be anything without my family.  They are what makes me accomplished in the end.  When I die others will actually have things to admire me for.  I would not have anything significant to write about in an obituary, no matter my accomplishments, if I had not had my kids.

On that note I want to send a little love out to all those I know that have tried for years to have kids without success, who have had the amazing ability of adopting, and also to those like myself who for each of their children endured overwhelming sickness during those long 9 months.  Those with traumatic births as well as those who have discovered hypno-labor for smooth pain free births with much dedication and work.  It may not be hard for some people to get "knocked up" or "hitched" but to create a marriage that lasts and a home that feels like a little piece of heaven on earth is monstrously hard work, and I think that is what most of us deep down are working toward.  Don't fret.  I know its hard but keep plugging away and you'll get there.